Issue #2

by Rijn Collins

This interview is with Erica, one of my favourite people in the world. She’s a feminist, writer, sex activist, singer and public speaker who works in women’s healthcare in the US. In the following interview she tells Pretty Ugly about her job in a clinic that provides abortions, describing just what her job entails and how it affects her. She can be reached at the email address at the end of the interview (and she is one of the most approachable, inspirational and cuntloving women on the face of the earth! - mail her!).

Could you tell us about your background for this job, such as your college degree, any volunteer work etc.?
I studied Women’s Studies at Penn State University and earned a BA degree. In the major, I concentrated on women’s health and wellness, and feminist pedagogy. As far as volunteer work, well, I would just say my entire life, growing up as a woman, prepared me for this work. I’ve always been really interested in reproductive rights, from a very early age. In college, I got the chance to do more extensive pro-choice activism. I organized a few Rock for Choice shows, played one with my own band, participated in a few pro-choice demonstrations. But I don’t know if there’s any way to really really prepare for this work. I discovered that standing in the room hand-holding while a woman was having an abortion was a world away from standing on the sidewalk with a “My Body, My Choice” sign. The job really forces you to examine just how pro-choice you are.

Could you walk us through an average day at your clinic? What do your duties involve?
Everyone at the clinic I worked for multi-tasked. For one, I answered phones. When we were seeing patients, I sometimes ran their labwork (pregnancy tests, etc).

I did a lot of counseling. Counseling involves informing the woman of the procedure in detail, as well as making her aware of her other options and making sure she’s comfortable with her decision. A lot of times counseling gets really intense, sometimes, I thought that I was the only person that a woman was able to talk to in ages. I would find that suddenly, I was an impromptu rape crisis or sexual violence counselor in addition to the abortion counselor.

Most of the time, I would assist the doctor with procedures. I would set the woman up in the procedure room, hand the doctor the instruments, turn on the suction machine, all while talking to the woman, explaining to her what we’re doing each step of the way, and making sure she’s okay.

One of the more intense parts of the job was doing pathology. That is where we examine the “products of conception” that we remove from the uterus. We have to make sure that the tissue we have removed matches the growth we saw on the sonogram. So we are literally picking through a dish of fetus, identifying parts, depending on how far along the pregnancy was. This is one part of the job that was biologically fascinating, but sometimes hard to get used to. I just always figured, “I helped this woman make a big decision, and somebody has to do this.”

Sometimes I would also sit with the women in recovery, explaining to them how to take care of themselves afterward. Some things I did at work that don’t necessarily have to do with abortion: discuss safer sex and birth control options with patients, counsel people about STDs and safer sex, assist with routine gynecological exams and pap smears.

What is the most enjoyable aspect of your job?
Definitely the patients, the women I got to interact with. I’ve found that working in reproductive health is so so so rewarding. I’d have patients hug me, or tell me that I was so nice to them, or tell us that we made their decision so much easier. Hearing these things always made me feel soooo good.

There were a lot of days when I’d talk to women and hear things that I wished I’d never heard. Women told me about being raped when they were passed out, about being raped by their own fathers, about having their husbands beat their heads off of cars in front of their small children. They told me things that would sometimes have me crying in the bathroom after counseling.

You can never tell anyone what to do, but what I did for these women was listen to them.. I would tell them, above all, that these things weren’t their fault. I told them that they deserved love and respect and to be treated better. You could tell that some of these women had never heard anything like this.

I got to listen to so many women’s stories. EVERY kind of woman seeks abortion services! I’ve held the hands of women who held PhDs, and women who were farm hands. We had everyone from girls of 14 years old to women nearing menopause. I got really attached to some of these women, and I’d be excited when they came back for their follow-up exams. Every once in awhile, I’ll see a patient in town somewhere, and she’ll smile at me. I love that! I really feel like I touched so many women’s lives in only ten months of working at the clinic.

I always just felt like I was doing a really good thing. The grateful women proved it.

And the part you dislike most?
Besides things like the occasional bitchy coworker, no medical benefits, and really bad pay? Ha. I dislike that in this country, abortion is such a fucking issue. I can’t believe when I hear that in other countries, pro-choice and pro-life are barely common terms.

Women have such shitty access to health care here. Women in Europe and other places, who never have to pay for things like birth control or worry about access to quality reproductive care…you’re so lucky. In the USA, abortions are expensive. At least $300 for a first trimester procedure. A lot of women are way too poor to afford them. Working at the clinic just reminded me of all these injustices…the poor accessibility to quality healthcare for women, the threat of the anti-choice Christian right, the fact that our right to choose is so constantly under fire…I hate those things. I also hated that being in abortion care is a threat to my personal safety.

Have you experienced any ethical discomfort about helping to perform abortions?
No. I was staunchly pro-choice before I worked in abortion care, and I definitely still am. Every once in awhile, I’d counsel a patient who would say “Well, I just want to tell you that I don’t believe in this” then she would go on to get the abortion. I would tell her that she had to work out those issues with herself and whatever higher power she believed in, if any. But inside my head I wanted to scream “How can’t you realize that your experience is interconnected to the experiences of women everywhere!?!?”

When the security guard at an East Melbourne clinic was shot dead recently, you expressed that fear of such a scenario was something you had to live with each day at work: how do you cope with such fears? Are there guards at your clinic?
We had a security guard at the entrance to the clinic who checked everyones ID. Half the time he would be falling asleep our outside smoking. We had minimal protestor activity, but other clinics in the USA, especially in certain states, aren’t so lucky. There have been countless fire bombings, bombings, death threats, shootings, acid attacks, blockading, etc.

As an employee, I had to take certain safety precautions. Like, I wasn’t supposed to wear my scrubs in and out of the building, or blab to just anyone about where I worked. We were urged to vary our routes home each night. We had to report any suspicious phone calls. It’s fucked up, but sometimes, working in an abortion clinic actually made me feel Iike I was being shady.

As far as coping with my fears…I only ever got really scared a few times. Like if I was working a night alone, and there were suspicious phone calls, or there were a few protestors outside when I was working alone. Or if I’d start looking at the Army of God website (www.armyofgod.com). Some people in my life definitely don’t like that I work in a job that’s a threat to my personal safety, which adds a whole other kind of pressure (I.e. mom).

Could you tell us how the anthrax attacks around the time of September 11 affected your clinic?
We got a letter containing white powder, with a letter from the Christian terrorist organization The Army of God. The letter said “We’re going to kill you all” and they signed it. The FBI immediately shut down our clinic, and we remained closed for a week. All of our records and paperwork were still inside the building, so we had no way of contacting patients to tell them what was going on.

I did some research and found out that this very FBI that is supposed to protect us clinic workers is headed by John Ashcroft, who is very, very anti-choice. So basically it was Ashcroft who was ordering these clinics to close. Also, there are reports that he receives some of his campaign funding from Christian organizations that have ties to the Army of God! So this man who is supposed to protect us is never really going to investigate/punish these people!

Clinics all over the country were shut down when hundreds of them received the anthrax attacks. But they all reopened shortly. And the man who sent the letters was captured by the FBI shortly thereafter. His name was Clayton Waagner.

What hopes do you have for your future in this field?
Well, I just finished employment at this job I’ve been talking about, and now I’m planning to move to a larger city, Philadelphia. I have been talking to a woman who directs a reproductive rights project there, and she’s trying to help me find employment at a clinic or pro-choice organization. I don’t necessarily want to be right in the medical end of abortion right now. I would love to do education, outreach, public affairs, the political end of it, etc. But I know that I’m always going to feel passionate about this subject. Someday, I’m going to go to grad school as well. I’ve even entertained the idea of someday training as a midwife, probably a lot later in life. Childbirth fascinates me, and I’ve never even seen it. I would love to assist with births or apprentice under a pro-choice midwife. Every aspect of female sexuality, including the technical biological aspects of childbirth, completely and utterly fascinate me.

Could you tell us a bit about projects you’re involved with: bands, zines, workshops etc.
Reproductive rights is hardly my only passion. I’ve been involved in a lot of activism that promotes a really liberal view of female sexuality…concerning pornography, sexual pleasure, etc. I helped to organize an event called Cuntfest, based on Cunt by Inga Muscio. I love anything sex-positive and feminist-related.

I also teach classes and do lectures about eating disorders, body image, and feminism. I’m not really familiar with the beauty standard or women’s self-image in Australia, but in the USA, it is really fucked. I have struggled with bulimia since I was 15, and I’m almost 23 now. When I was 19, I wrote an article about what I’d been through. Now that article is being used to teach a lot of PSU women’s studies classes about eating disorders.

Sometimes I’ll talk to Women and the Arts classes, and we’ll discuss things like women’s self-expression about their bodies, or how I’ve healed my body with tattoos and writing. I’ve pretty much developed my own curriculum on eating disorders and body image that I teach to a wide variety of audiences…everyone from high school girls to women’s health conferences to women’s studies students in college. I love doing it. Though I’m mostly recovered, I still struggle with a lot of issues related to my body image, and helping other people really helps me.

This past spring/winter, I did workshops at conferences about eating disorders, body image, feminism, and also anti-choice terrorism and the Army of God. I’m currently working on a piece that’s being published in a book about 3rd wave feminist activists and how they organize against violence against women. I love to write for other people’s zines mostly on feminist/women’s issues. I do have a zine that I did with two of my best girlfriends…it’s a 3 part zine, and my part is on eating disorders. I have a lot of other zines that I’m planning to do, when I get around to it. I would definitely like to collaborate with my boyfriend on a project soon…he’s a photographer, and I think he could come up with some pretty cool images for some zines I want to do.

I’m also a member of a band, Wrought With Sickness. I’m the only girl in the band, and I do vocals. The guys in the band are my childhood friends. I have a really good time with them. Our music is heavy and our lyrics are political.

Any last comments?
I love to watch Sex and the City, laugh and make fun of stupid stuff, buy records frivolously, take road trips, go to shows, read books, play with my cats, and correspond with people. You can write to me at ThelandLou@aol.com