Issue #1

Valentines Day Rant
By Kelly

Oh that glorious day is soon upon us. A day of wine, roses, dreamy eyes and insecurity.

To my memory I have only shared one Valentines Day with a partner. I can’t remember it very well but I think he forgot it was Valentines Day. I only brought him some chocolates or something. The next day he arrives at my place dumps his bag in my room and pulls out a mangled bunch of roses from it… hmmm real romantic. He was too embarrassed to carry them I suspect.

How do I feel about Valentines Day? I have no doubt it exists for those who can make money out of it. Yep, I’m real cynical on this one. But you have to admit the idea of Valentines Day is appealing. I mean, who doesn’t want to have someone tell you they love you? Unless you’re not particularly interested in the person saying it to you! But for couples you shouldn’t need a day to remind each other of your love for one another. If you’re in love shouldn’t that be evident? I think Valentines Day is a great one for exposing the insecurities of a relationship or of one of the people in it. In a hetero relationship this is usually the woman. If the man does not acknowledge Valentines Day in the way she expects, if at all, then she questions if he really loves her and days and weeks of torment are to follow.

When my ex (at the time boyfriend) did not acknowledge Valentines Day as I expected I must admit I was disappointed, but I did not fear his feelings for me had diminished. On the one hand I feel Valentines Day exists for the profit of business and the other hand I like the idea of it. If I were in a relationship now I would not make a fuss over Valentines Day, but I would not ignore it either. I know I only care about Valentines Day because it’s been ingrained in my head to do so. And I hate it when I submit to something that is a result of socialisation rather than MY choosing. So it’s hard to figure out whether my interest in Valentines Day is genuine or a product of socialisation.

I remember in high school Valentines Day was like the biggest fucking deal. I know all the girls secretly prayed they would be the one receiving a bunch of flowers sent to them at school, so they could parade around at lunch time with their bunch of flowers as if to say “LOOK! Someone loves me!” Because sadly for many women the only time they feel valid as a person is when they receive the attention of a man. And THAT is what I find pathetic about Valentines Day. Women feeling somehow validated as human beings and that life is worth living simply because a man gives them a card, chocolates and a cute little teddy holding a heart that says I love you. For the women who don’t receive and cards, flowers or gifts…. they feel like they’re missing out on something and the day is a cue to feel depressed about not having a partner and being ugly and having a big arse or something.

This Valentines Day I shall be buying myself a box of chocolates, brewing up a delicious pot of coffee, maybe watch a video and finish up the evening with a bit of self-love. Cos I don’t need no man to feel valid, wonderful and beautiful.

Happy Valentines Day.